GH 3/2: Father Knows Best
It's my understanding that we had to watch Country Judge and Clair The Tough But Useless Attorney grimace about while Sam, Jason and Spinelli ran around like a bunch of drama queens who were trapped in a hotel in Hollywood on Group Night. Just so that Sonny would get the bail that he already got.
Victorian Port Charles: Liz has summoned Nik to tell him she's made a decision about having the paternity test now instead of later. But Lucky is not okay with having it now. Liz looks forlornly away, as it's pre-19th amendment, so she has absolutely no say in when she DOES WHATEVER THE EFF SHE WANTS WITH HER OWN STUPID BODY. omg, Show, who is your target audience in all of this? Because if it's to teach us that being slutty is wrong, um, maybe take a glance AT EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS EVER LIVED IN THIS GODFORSAKEN TOWN.
Corinthaus: or somewhere. Carly is still bizarrely fixated on Jax as the only person she's ever known who has caused her a second's grief. That this is the "mess you made" and that poor widdle Sonny was just minding his business, shooting at women at a crowded party and shooting unarmed cops.
Credits
Victorian Port Charles: blah blah, Lucky and Nik patronize Liz within an inch of her life, while she continues to suffer from enjoyssexitis. She snarls at Lucky that since he doesn't want her anymore, they need to find out who the father is so everyone can get on with their lives. I don't get where she gets off being grumpy about this, but I also don't get why she's been imprisoned for being a slutty, so I cheer for anything that reminds Liz that it's not a crime to be lusty. She belongs in etiquette school, not a sanitarium.
Jake's: Patrick and Lisa are gross drunk. The only thing left to do is hurl or sleep together to keep from hurling. She's doing lying on her back while shots are poured into her mouth. Thankfully Robin is there, so this doesn't get all Jodie Fostery. Patrick sees Robin limply smiling at him from the doorway. and again, Patrick shouldn't cheat, but I equate the dismissive way she treats Patrick in regards to Jason and Sonny as what he's doing right now. and at least he's doing this to get back at her, which I realize is a weird thing to say, I'd rather my husband flirted with a woman b/c he was hurt and lashing out than have dreadful women from his past always take a place ahead of me and his being as unwilling as Robin is to even recognize that this might be a point of needless contention in our marriage.
Corinthaus: Typical Jax/Carly/Sonny bickering. People accuse Jax of just wanting to hurt Sonny. Jax insisting he wants his family safe, and he doesn't care how Sonny ends up. and instead of ever addressing this or conceding this point, Sonny stutter barks "what about my family?" As if it's Jax's problem. As if Jax is supposed to make decisions that help other people's families, when Sonny would never, never do the same. Case in point, he's upset that Dante was shot b/c Jax kept a secret, but he would not have cared if Dante had been shot and was some other father's child to mourn. Jax remains disgusted by Sonny. Sonny threatens that the only reason Jax is alive is b/c he's Carly's wife. He stutterbarks "when are you finally dumping him? I've waited long enough to settle this." Carly sneers at him. Oh, shut up, Carly's anger face. Yes, asshole, you consistently defend a man WHO WOULD MURDER THE FATHER OF YOUR DAUGHTER...on purpose. with malice aforethought. But by all means, continue to be astounded that Jax wouldn't want this person to have anything to do with anyone you love.
Haunted Star: Jason is mad at Johnny for getting Ethan involved in all this. As am I!
Commercials
Corinthaus: Does anyone address the fact that Sonny just threatened to murder Jocelyn's father? Nope. Carly is pathetically torn. I could dig it if she was done with both of them. That I would love. But she's sitting here with Sonny as if he's a victim in all of this. and that I loathe. Because Sonny could actually be a fantastic character if he weren't so busy getting literal "get out of jail free" cards on an hourly basis. Kill everyone but Kristina.
Jakes" Lisa points out to Coleman that whenever Robin shows up, Patrick becomes a boring family man. It would be awesome if Coleman would say "well, if you want a man who wants to party, asshat, why don't you go find one, instead of wasting so much time obsessing over a man who has made his intentions more than clear at least a dozen times?"
Commercials
Lakehouse: Sometimes Molly's dreaminess gets on my nerves. I dig it that she can't tell Keifer is really a jackhole, but why can't she just take Kristina's word for it that she doesn't want to see him anymore. Molly thinks Keifer hung the moon and tells Kristina so. They are surprised by Keifer showing up. That nice personality he has is the only one around at the moment, so Kristina agrees to talk to him outside. (Molly exposits that Alexis isn't home)
Haunted Star: Patrick says he appreciates that Sonny was there for her, and all the experiences she had with Sonny and Stone, "they made my wife, and I wouldn't have you any other way." They both cry a little and kiss, and it's very sweet, except for the fact that doesn't Robin still owes me an apology, even if Patrick doesn't need one. So there!
Courthouse: Looloo has Dante on the stand and she decides that since he's sworn to tell the truth. she's going to grill him about his past. We learn that he's been in love before (we should be meeting his child right around the time Kristina develops leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant.) They smooch.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Keifer says he can't eat or sleep. She says sometimes she just needs to be alone to think. He says it feels like she doesn't want to be with him. What's wrong with me that I want him to be telling the truth and to have weird DekeHidMeInTheClosetIssues that explain his rage and that I feel bad for him. That's messed up, y'all. I guess I'm empathizing with Kristina. She's seeing her father in her boyfriend and wanting to love and forgive in hopes that loving and forgiving means the bad parts aren't real. And the way Keifer is talking, he sounds as sweet and true as my brother would talking to a girl he loved. I'd be at a loss if I were Kristina, to be honest. She says she believes him, which is not the same as forgiving him or taking him back, and I can't help but to hope there's a satisfying pay off in the next scene.
Metrocourt: Jax and Clair The Useless Attorney sit and work on their strategery. Carly shows up and still feels compelled to chase Clair away.
Courthouse; Dante tells Looloo that he's more in love with her now than he was before. I think what he's saying is she is who he was in love with before, but now , he loves her so much more, that it's like he loves an entirely new person. Aw, boys are so poetical before they get in your pants.
Commercials
Also, it's hilarious to me how many people commented or emailed that they also played mannequin as kids. I hope y'all fooled more people that we did!
Maxilu's: Dante and Loo pour themselves into a Launch Sequence Activating Kiss. Loo pulls away and says they have been given medical instruction not to be too active. He thinks she's having second thoughts. She giggles that she wants to rip his clothes off, but she doesn't want him to have a heart attack. he says they can just be really slow, and then he starts kissing her, really slow and easy, and oh my. They murmur to each other about how slow is actually kind of awesome. my my.
Victorian Port Charles: Liz informs Lucky and Nik that she accidentally saw a newspaper and realized that it's actually 2010, and thus she is not chattel, so she'll be getting her paternity test tomorrow, and they will be giving DNA samples. Um, but aren't they brothers? So couldn't this go back and forth until the end of time? I mean, beyond the standard Switcharoo of test results.
Corinthaus: Michael has been in Buffalo with Max to keep him away from the courthouse. Sonny says he's free and made bail. Sonny says Dante helped. Michael asks if Dante lied. Sonny, of course, doesn't answer this. He instead says that Dante stuck to his story that he shot himself. and Michael, of course, doesn't say that Sonny didn't answer his question. He says "you must be really proud of your son."
Metrocourt: Hoping that the health inspectors aren't due today, Jax and Carly bicker a bit, and then fling each other around until they are undressing and doing it up against a wall.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Forgot to mention that Jason visits Luke. Don't know what they were talking about....other than The Danger. I don't mind Ethan being involved, I just don't understand his involvement?
Victorian Port Charles: Nik and Lucky go into the hall. Nik thinks they need to co-exist. Lucky says he has no use for him, but he obviously can't cut him out of his life b/c of the Laura, Looloo, and that one of them is uncle to the other's son as time will tell. They leave.
Helena saunters in to Liz and whispers over her sleeping body that tomorrow they will find out there is a new Cassadine heir.
Dante is in bed and Loo is undressing. She says they agreed she'd do all the work. The camera is on just her and she sweetly says that she's nervous b/c it's their first time, and being in love with him makes her feel like a new person. Yeah, sweetie, I dig the sentiment, and by all means, you can have a sentimental hymen just for this guy if you want. Of course, Dante has fallen asleep.
Corinthaus: Missed what Sonny says. I'm sure if I heard it, it would make me love him again. Something about not being able to love someone. or something.
Metrocourt: Post tussle, Jax and Carly are hastily dressed. He says he hopes one day she'll understand that he was trying to save their family. She says she wanted to remind him that he's trying to break them, trying to throw away the best thing that ever happened to him, and that he'll reconsider that it's worth it.
the end
Victorian Port Charles: Liz has summoned Nik to tell him she's made a decision about having the paternity test now instead of later. But Lucky is not okay with having it now. Liz looks forlornly away, as it's pre-19th amendment, so she has absolutely no say in when she DOES WHATEVER THE EFF SHE WANTS WITH HER OWN STUPID BODY. omg, Show, who is your target audience in all of this? Because if it's to teach us that being slutty is wrong, um, maybe take a glance AT EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS EVER LIVED IN THIS GODFORSAKEN TOWN.
Corinthaus: or somewhere. Carly is still bizarrely fixated on Jax as the only person she's ever known who has caused her a second's grief. That this is the "mess you made" and that poor widdle Sonny was just minding his business, shooting at women at a crowded party and shooting unarmed cops.
Credits
Victorian Port Charles: blah blah, Lucky and Nik patronize Liz within an inch of her life, while she continues to suffer from enjoyssexitis. She snarls at Lucky that since he doesn't want her anymore, they need to find out who the father is so everyone can get on with their lives. I don't get where she gets off being grumpy about this, but I also don't get why she's been imprisoned for being a slutty, so I cheer for anything that reminds Liz that it's not a crime to be lusty. She belongs in etiquette school, not a sanitarium.
Jake's: Patrick and Lisa are gross drunk. The only thing left to do is hurl or sleep together to keep from hurling. She's doing lying on her back while shots are poured into her mouth. Thankfully Robin is there, so this doesn't get all Jodie Fostery. Patrick sees Robin limply smiling at him from the doorway. and again, Patrick shouldn't cheat, but I equate the dismissive way she treats Patrick in regards to Jason and Sonny as what he's doing right now. and at least he's doing this to get back at her, which I realize is a weird thing to say, I'd rather my husband flirted with a woman b/c he was hurt and lashing out than have dreadful women from his past always take a place ahead of me and his being as unwilling as Robin is to even recognize that this might be a point of needless contention in our marriage.
Corinthaus: Typical Jax/Carly/Sonny bickering. People accuse Jax of just wanting to hurt Sonny. Jax insisting he wants his family safe, and he doesn't care how Sonny ends up. and instead of ever addressing this or conceding this point, Sonny stutter barks "what about my family?" As if it's Jax's problem. As if Jax is supposed to make decisions that help other people's families, when Sonny would never, never do the same. Case in point, he's upset that Dante was shot b/c Jax kept a secret, but he would not have cared if Dante had been shot and was some other father's child to mourn. Jax remains disgusted by Sonny. Sonny threatens that the only reason Jax is alive is b/c he's Carly's wife. He stutterbarks "when are you finally dumping him? I've waited long enough to settle this." Carly sneers at him. Oh, shut up, Carly's anger face. Yes, asshole, you consistently defend a man WHO WOULD MURDER THE FATHER OF YOUR DAUGHTER...on purpose. with malice aforethought. But by all means, continue to be astounded that Jax wouldn't want this person to have anything to do with anyone you love.
Haunted Star: Jason is mad at Johnny for getting Ethan involved in all this. As am I!
Commercials
Corinthaus: Does anyone address the fact that Sonny just threatened to murder Jocelyn's father? Nope. Carly is pathetically torn. I could dig it if she was done with both of them. That I would love. But she's sitting here with Sonny as if he's a victim in all of this. and that I loathe. Because Sonny could actually be a fantastic character if he weren't so busy getting literal "get out of jail free" cards on an hourly basis. Kill everyone but Kristina.
Jakes" Lisa points out to Coleman that whenever Robin shows up, Patrick becomes a boring family man. It would be awesome if Coleman would say "well, if you want a man who wants to party, asshat, why don't you go find one, instead of wasting so much time obsessing over a man who has made his intentions more than clear at least a dozen times?"
Commercials
Lakehouse: Sometimes Molly's dreaminess gets on my nerves. I dig it that she can't tell Keifer is really a jackhole, but why can't she just take Kristina's word for it that she doesn't want to see him anymore. Molly thinks Keifer hung the moon and tells Kristina so. They are surprised by Keifer showing up. That nice personality he has is the only one around at the moment, so Kristina agrees to talk to him outside. (Molly exposits that Alexis isn't home)
Haunted Star: Patrick says he appreciates that Sonny was there for her, and all the experiences she had with Sonny and Stone, "they made my wife, and I wouldn't have you any other way." They both cry a little and kiss, and it's very sweet, except for the fact that doesn't Robin still owes me an apology, even if Patrick doesn't need one. So there!
Courthouse: Looloo has Dante on the stand and she decides that since he's sworn to tell the truth. she's going to grill him about his past. We learn that he's been in love before (we should be meeting his child right around the time Kristina develops leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant.) They smooch.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Keifer says he can't eat or sleep. She says sometimes she just needs to be alone to think. He says it feels like she doesn't want to be with him. What's wrong with me that I want him to be telling the truth and to have weird DekeHidMeInTheClosetIssues that explain his rage and that I feel bad for him. That's messed up, y'all. I guess I'm empathizing with Kristina. She's seeing her father in her boyfriend and wanting to love and forgive in hopes that loving and forgiving means the bad parts aren't real. And the way Keifer is talking, he sounds as sweet and true as my brother would talking to a girl he loved. I'd be at a loss if I were Kristina, to be honest. She says she believes him, which is not the same as forgiving him or taking him back, and I can't help but to hope there's a satisfying pay off in the next scene.
Metrocourt: Jax and Clair The Useless Attorney sit and work on their strategery. Carly shows up and still feels compelled to chase Clair away.
Courthouse; Dante tells Looloo that he's more in love with her now than he was before. I think what he's saying is she is who he was in love with before, but now , he loves her so much more, that it's like he loves an entirely new person. Aw, boys are so poetical before they get in your pants.
Commercials
Also, it's hilarious to me how many people commented or emailed that they also played mannequin as kids. I hope y'all fooled more people that we did!
Maxilu's: Dante and Loo pour themselves into a Launch Sequence Activating Kiss. Loo pulls away and says they have been given medical instruction not to be too active. He thinks she's having second thoughts. She giggles that she wants to rip his clothes off, but she doesn't want him to have a heart attack. he says they can just be really slow, and then he starts kissing her, really slow and easy, and oh my. They murmur to each other about how slow is actually kind of awesome. my my.
Victorian Port Charles: Liz informs Lucky and Nik that she accidentally saw a newspaper and realized that it's actually 2010, and thus she is not chattel, so she'll be getting her paternity test tomorrow, and they will be giving DNA samples. Um, but aren't they brothers? So couldn't this go back and forth until the end of time? I mean, beyond the standard Switcharoo of test results.
Corinthaus: Michael has been in Buffalo with Max to keep him away from the courthouse. Sonny says he's free and made bail. Sonny says Dante helped. Michael asks if Dante lied. Sonny, of course, doesn't answer this. He instead says that Dante stuck to his story that he shot himself. and Michael, of course, doesn't say that Sonny didn't answer his question. He says "you must be really proud of your son."
Metrocourt: Hoping that the health inspectors aren't due today, Jax and Carly bicker a bit, and then fling each other around until they are undressing and doing it up against a wall.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Forgot to mention that Jason visits Luke. Don't know what they were talking about....other than The Danger. I don't mind Ethan being involved, I just don't understand his involvement?
Victorian Port Charles: Nik and Lucky go into the hall. Nik thinks they need to co-exist. Lucky says he has no use for him, but he obviously can't cut him out of his life b/c of the Laura, Looloo, and that one of them is uncle to the other's son as time will tell. They leave.
Helena saunters in to Liz and whispers over her sleeping body that tomorrow they will find out there is a new Cassadine heir.
Dante is in bed and Loo is undressing. She says they agreed she'd do all the work. The camera is on just her and she sweetly says that she's nervous b/c it's their first time, and being in love with him makes her feel like a new person. Yeah, sweetie, I dig the sentiment, and by all means, you can have a sentimental hymen just for this guy if you want. Of course, Dante has fallen asleep.
Corinthaus: Missed what Sonny says. I'm sure if I heard it, it would make me love him again. Something about not being able to love someone. or something.
Metrocourt: Post tussle, Jax and Carly are hastily dressed. He says he hopes one day she'll understand that he was trying to save their family. She says she wanted to remind him that he's trying to break them, trying to throw away the best thing that ever happened to him, and that he'll reconsider that it's worth it.
the end
"Jason is mad at Johnny for getting Ethan involved in all this."
But it is the only storyline he has except creepily hanging around Kristina and stocking the bar and laughing at Tracey...which is better than Monica gets but still..
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Oh Mad, Johnny is just giving poor Ethan a storyline that doesn't involve pouring amber liquid or Polanski-ing a Corinthoslassie.
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Kill everyone but Kristina.
Hee hee HELL YEAH! She's the ONLY person in town REVOLTED by Sonny. Carly really makes me sick w/the way she continues to stand up for the man who puts her kids in CONSTANT danger... WHOLE FOODS ANYONE???!!!!!
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"while she continues to suffer from enjoyssexitis"
OMG - just the word I have been looking for. Thanks
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"Um, but aren't they brothers? So couldn't this go back and forth until the end of time? I mean, beyond the standard Switcharoo of test results."
Nah, that's usually only a problem if the brothers are twins--& if they're identical twins then there's no way to determine paternity.
Glad we're not the only Mannequin players. LOL
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Place you bets please....and the countdown starts, Liz's baby daddy test results will be "the ole switcharoo", and Nik will be the daddy, plus countdown to Mykill becoming,...Michael Quartermain,CEO of ELQ, in 5,4,3,.....!Ethan is USELESS!!Why not let Kristina kill him,Sam,Lisa,Keifer,Luke,JAX and Molly!Why don't the writers ever let Grandma Helena interact or mention K and Molly, that's not realistic, even if she only calls them bastards or something. Mrs Mad, your caps are great and I'm feeling like getting my siblings together to play Mannequin but I guess seeing we're a little TOO OLD, we might just end up in Shaddybrook!
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After a certain age if you play mannequin, you have people thinking you had an attack of some sort and trying to give you CPR.
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