GH 8/10: Brenda Barrett's Men
It's a rerun! Lila is alive! and Alan! and Edward doesn't wear hats! Reginald!!!!! Monica's face is almost normal! Brenda is so young and pretty!
and there's the giggle. 2 minutes in! I can't quit exclaiming! Brenda tells the Q's that she and Jason are married (xoxo)
Limo flashback. Jason is so skinny! and hot! and unbeefy! good heavens I think Steve Burton and Vanessa Marcil Giowhatever are remarkably attractive people today, but good night, nurse where they incredibly gorgeous however long ago this was.
Corndog is alive! Jason tells her he's marrying Brenda
Jax in the hospital, back when he was also hot! No one should have shown this episode! It makes everyone look so middle aged in the present!
Tamara Braun! Clucky as usual eaveslurks while Jax and Sonny fight about whose is bigger. Sonny is so cute! He almost has the beginnings of a mullet!!!! I think it's a Guilt Mullet for feeling bad about taking advantage of Jason.
Skye! Back before she helped murder Lorenzo, learns that Brenda isn't really dying. Oh, I forgot that whole tedious part of this plot. The Gigglemeister thought she was dying, so she hooked up with hotass Luis Alcazar back when he had a beard.
Commercials!
Kelly's: Cornteeth and Skinny, Hot Jason sit around Kelly's and talk about how Jason married Brenda. I love no other storyline more than Brenda and Jason Get Married. Jason reminds me of Marshall Marshall on In Plain Sight is how young and skinny he is. He looks like a different person.
More Limo Flashbacks! Jason and Brenda bicker in the limo and talk over each other. He says he doesn't want to marry her and never wants to see her again. She yells that stranger things have happened in this town. She rambles on about how she never thought Jason and Robin would be together and sarcastically says "but she loved you, God knows why?" He blathers about The Danger. She says she's dying, so it doesn't matter if she gets killed. He wonders if they can pull this off.
Q Manse: Brenda continues to tell the Q's that she and Jason are getting married. She makes it sound like they are in love and very happy. She giggles to prove it. The Q's are worried about The Danger. Brenda lays it on thick that she doesn't know how much time she has left, and she knows she wants to spend it with Jason because he's sweet and gentle. Edward scoffs at this and says he's a hitman. Monica says that's never been proven in court. Ay yi yi, I forgot how much denial Monica used to be about her son.
Hospital Room: Jax and Sonny's hair have a Who's Hotter Contest along with a Who Wants To Leave Their Wife for Brenda Less. Tamara makes that weird Joker smile when Sonny says he loves his wife. Then she leaves. Jax thinks Brenda needs him. Sonny scoffs that Brenda married Jason. Jax says it's going to kill Sonny that Brenda lives across the hall from him. Because this was back when someone actually lived in the other inexplicably tiny penthouse. Jax says something about Sonny going to his wife, but I miss it because Music Guy throws in a rather awesome little musical flourish.
Commercials
Q Manse: Alan and Monica hug Brenda and welcome her to the family. Brenda then bounces and giggles that they got married in Vegas.
Tru Luv Wedding Chapel: Stripper music plays a little. Brenda is oddly dressed like a mountain man. then Joe Isuzu and Judy Tenuta come out to tell them about the wedding packages. She's wearing Brendasleeves!!!! Jason scowls the whole time. They don't want a tux or wedding dress or cake. Why are they so angry about this. Brenda takes off her mountain man coat. I think she's flirting with me b/c her Brendasleeves are really Brendagloves. They've got that aggravating little hole for her thumb to go through, but are fingerless, and they go up to her elbow. She's wearing a matching tank top with capped sleeves. The old timey Vegas burlesque music ends, and Jason and Brenda pout. I forgot this was kind of stupid.
Kelly's: Corndog asks Jason if he loves Brenda.
GH: Sonny finds Carly, and she admits she was eaveslurking while he talked to Jax. Sonny wants to go home, and Carly smiles proudly b/c Sonny says he loves her. This is, of course, before his mortal enemy tried to gaslight him, so he shot her in the head while she was giving birth, and then she comadreamed she wasn't a tunamuffincooze who came to town to destroy her mother's life and instead married Lorenzo who was a professor, or something. Good times!
Commercials
Tru Love Chapel: For some reason Jason and Brenda have to go along with the tux and cake.
Kelly's: What is wrong with Cornface? Why is she so ingenue-y and happy for Jason that he married Brenda? Weren't they a couple? What a doof this girl is? All dewy eyed "Brenda must have looked so beautiful, did you have music?"
Tru Love Chapel: Judy Tenuta plays the accordian, badly. Brenda drags Jason to the altar while Music Guy plays music that says "no, really, y'all, this is totally hilarious"
Q Manse: Brenda says she wishes everyone could have been there, but it was very private and sacred.
Tru Love Chapel: It's so sacred, that Brenda is wearing her pants so low that you can see the top of her underwear. Not in the classy way where you see a glimpse of thong. Oh, no, her pants are (as seen rarely) pulled up in the back, so you don't see her tramp stamp. This charming look reveals top of the front of her underwear. So fashion forward, that one. Joe Isuzu starts their vows, and Jason gets annoyed and wants to jump to the "I do" part. Brenda picks sleep out of her eye and says she does too.
anyways, blah blah, the point is Brenda keeps telling the Q's that it was magical, and Cornhump keeps smiling like it must have been romantic and wonderful, but really it was awful.
Corncrowns asks Jason where they spent their wedding night. Jason gulps and stares. He's gotten much better at staring incredulously.
Commercials
Do you think Sonny's limo is upholstered in rich, Corinthian leather? Sonny and Carly sit in the limo and have hate sex. No, just kidding, they totally have revenge sex. Just kidding, they have Carly Manipulates Sonny sex. Or actually, it looks like it's just going to be a Carly Manipulates Sonny BJ.
Q Manse: Brenda says she doesn't need a honeymoon after their perfect wedding night.
Gross Vegas Elevator: Jason and mountain woman Brenda glare at a young couple who make out the whole time they are in the elevator. Then some blonde gets on and makes googly eyes at Jason, and he winces at his constipation. What is this building where people just need to get on to go up one floor at a time. Two men in shiny shirts get on the elevator, and Jason is afraid of their gay cooties or whatever obnoxious thing is going on. The go to their hotel room, and Jason gives her a box full of rings and asks her to pick one. She's apalled by the selection.
Kelly's: Cornloser breathily says that Jason's ring is really nice and perfect. I forgot how much I used to want to chop this dingbat's head off. Was she always this cloying? Good thing her teeth are 18 miles wide b/c all this gooey sweetness shes spewing would have rotted through lesser teeth. I grew to like her so much by the time she was with Nik, and I find it jarring to be reminded how dreadful she could be. Jason tells her that Brenda is dying.
Jax's hospital room: Jax couldn't walk for awhile? Totally forgot that. It must have been one of those 48 hour paralysis problems. Skye is delighted that Jax can move around with a walker. Jax tells her that Brenda married Jason.
Commercials
Limo: So they are done driving around the lake. Sonny laughs that Carly always wants to "drive around the lake" when she wants something. She talks about how crazy in love with him she is. As people are wont to suddenly feel about Sonny or Jax when Brenda comes back to town.
Kelly's: Cornenamel says Brenda is incredibly lucky to have Jason, even if it's only for a little while.
Honeymoon Suite: Jason and Brenda bicker about their rings. She storms off to the bedroom but stops in her tracks when she sees something. She runs back to the living room and says she's sleeping on the couch, and he can have the bed. Jason grumps that he's sleeping on the couch. She yells at him "the bed is shaped like a heart." and nods as if she's obviously proven her point that she's not sleeping in there. He continues to argue, and she says it's all his fault they have a heart shaped bed, so he has to sleep on it. Then she uses this funny falsetto voice and says "la lah lah, I'm Sonny Corinthos' right hand man" heh, I think she's a little out of her mind at this point. He yells at her to shut up and go to bed. They stare at each other, and she' clearly hurt that he just yelled at her with anger instead of frustration, and he clearly wants to apologize, but he's too stubborn. She angrily tosses her ring on the table and storms off to the bedroom. He follows after her to apologize and smell her hair, but then he goes and tosses himself onto the fugly sofa.
Q Manse: Brenda glows that her wedding night was so beautiful. Edward flirts with her a little, and Lila gives her blessings. Brenda goes out to the rose garden to the terrace to get some air. She cries a little for lying to people she loves.
Jax's Room: Skye says she's never leaving Jax's side, no matter what he's battling. She, of course, leaves out the part that Brenda isn't really dying.
Ending Music Montage: Some dude sings maudlinly about jogging someone's memory. Brenda fiddles with her ring. Jason leaves Kelly's, looks at Cornflog, looks at his ring, and leaves angrily. Brenda stares into space. Lame ending montage.
The end
Thanks for reading
and there's the giggle. 2 minutes in! I can't quit exclaiming! Brenda tells the Q's that she and Jason are married (xoxo)
Limo flashback. Jason is so skinny! and hot! and unbeefy! good heavens I think Steve Burton and Vanessa Marcil Giowhatever are remarkably attractive people today, but good night, nurse where they incredibly gorgeous however long ago this was.
Corndog is alive! Jason tells her he's marrying Brenda
Jax in the hospital, back when he was also hot! No one should have shown this episode! It makes everyone look so middle aged in the present!
Tamara Braun! Clucky as usual eaveslurks while Jax and Sonny fight about whose is bigger. Sonny is so cute! He almost has the beginnings of a mullet!!!! I think it's a Guilt Mullet for feeling bad about taking advantage of Jason.
Skye! Back before she helped murder Lorenzo, learns that Brenda isn't really dying. Oh, I forgot that whole tedious part of this plot. The Gigglemeister thought she was dying, so she hooked up with hotass Luis Alcazar back when he had a beard.
Commercials!
Kelly's: Cornteeth and Skinny, Hot Jason sit around Kelly's and talk about how Jason married Brenda. I love no other storyline more than Brenda and Jason Get Married. Jason reminds me of Marshall Marshall on In Plain Sight is how young and skinny he is. He looks like a different person.
More Limo Flashbacks! Jason and Brenda bicker in the limo and talk over each other. He says he doesn't want to marry her and never wants to see her again. She yells that stranger things have happened in this town. She rambles on about how she never thought Jason and Robin would be together and sarcastically says "but she loved you, God knows why?" He blathers about The Danger. She says she's dying, so it doesn't matter if she gets killed. He wonders if they can pull this off.
Q Manse: Brenda continues to tell the Q's that she and Jason are getting married. She makes it sound like they are in love and very happy. She giggles to prove it. The Q's are worried about The Danger. Brenda lays it on thick that she doesn't know how much time she has left, and she knows she wants to spend it with Jason because he's sweet and gentle. Edward scoffs at this and says he's a hitman. Monica says that's never been proven in court. Ay yi yi, I forgot how much denial Monica used to be about her son.
Hospital Room: Jax and Sonny's hair have a Who's Hotter Contest along with a Who Wants To Leave Their Wife for Brenda Less. Tamara makes that weird Joker smile when Sonny says he loves his wife. Then she leaves. Jax thinks Brenda needs him. Sonny scoffs that Brenda married Jason. Jax says it's going to kill Sonny that Brenda lives across the hall from him. Because this was back when someone actually lived in the other inexplicably tiny penthouse. Jax says something about Sonny going to his wife, but I miss it because Music Guy throws in a rather awesome little musical flourish.
Commercials
Q Manse: Alan and Monica hug Brenda and welcome her to the family. Brenda then bounces and giggles that they got married in Vegas.
Tru Luv Wedding Chapel: Stripper music plays a little. Brenda is oddly dressed like a mountain man. then Joe Isuzu and Judy Tenuta come out to tell them about the wedding packages. She's wearing Brendasleeves!!!! Jason scowls the whole time. They don't want a tux or wedding dress or cake. Why are they so angry about this. Brenda takes off her mountain man coat. I think she's flirting with me b/c her Brendasleeves are really Brendagloves. They've got that aggravating little hole for her thumb to go through, but are fingerless, and they go up to her elbow. She's wearing a matching tank top with capped sleeves. The old timey Vegas burlesque music ends, and Jason and Brenda pout. I forgot this was kind of stupid.
Kelly's: Corndog asks Jason if he loves Brenda.
GH: Sonny finds Carly, and she admits she was eaveslurking while he talked to Jax. Sonny wants to go home, and Carly smiles proudly b/c Sonny says he loves her. This is, of course, before his mortal enemy tried to gaslight him, so he shot her in the head while she was giving birth, and then she comadreamed she wasn't a tunamuffincooze who came to town to destroy her mother's life and instead married Lorenzo who was a professor, or something. Good times!
Commercials
Tru Love Chapel: For some reason Jason and Brenda have to go along with the tux and cake.
Kelly's: What is wrong with Cornface? Why is she so ingenue-y and happy for Jason that he married Brenda? Weren't they a couple? What a doof this girl is? All dewy eyed "Brenda must have looked so beautiful, did you have music?"
Tru Love Chapel: Judy Tenuta plays the accordian, badly. Brenda drags Jason to the altar while Music Guy plays music that says "no, really, y'all, this is totally hilarious"
Q Manse: Brenda says she wishes everyone could have been there, but it was very private and sacred.
Tru Love Chapel: It's so sacred, that Brenda is wearing her pants so low that you can see the top of her underwear. Not in the classy way where you see a glimpse of thong. Oh, no, her pants are (as seen rarely) pulled up in the back, so you don't see her tramp stamp. This charming look reveals top of the front of her underwear. So fashion forward, that one. Joe Isuzu starts their vows, and Jason gets annoyed and wants to jump to the "I do" part. Brenda picks sleep out of her eye and says she does too.
anyways, blah blah, the point is Brenda keeps telling the Q's that it was magical, and Cornhump keeps smiling like it must have been romantic and wonderful, but really it was awful.
Corncrowns asks Jason where they spent their wedding night. Jason gulps and stares. He's gotten much better at staring incredulously.
Commercials
Do you think Sonny's limo is upholstered in rich, Corinthian leather? Sonny and Carly sit in the limo and have hate sex. No, just kidding, they totally have revenge sex. Just kidding, they have Carly Manipulates Sonny sex. Or actually, it looks like it's just going to be a Carly Manipulates Sonny BJ.
Q Manse: Brenda says she doesn't need a honeymoon after their perfect wedding night.
Gross Vegas Elevator: Jason and mountain woman Brenda glare at a young couple who make out the whole time they are in the elevator. Then some blonde gets on and makes googly eyes at Jason, and he winces at his constipation. What is this building where people just need to get on to go up one floor at a time. Two men in shiny shirts get on the elevator, and Jason is afraid of their gay cooties or whatever obnoxious thing is going on. The go to their hotel room, and Jason gives her a box full of rings and asks her to pick one. She's apalled by the selection.
Kelly's: Cornloser breathily says that Jason's ring is really nice and perfect. I forgot how much I used to want to chop this dingbat's head off. Was she always this cloying? Good thing her teeth are 18 miles wide b/c all this gooey sweetness shes spewing would have rotted through lesser teeth. I grew to like her so much by the time she was with Nik, and I find it jarring to be reminded how dreadful she could be. Jason tells her that Brenda is dying.
Jax's hospital room: Jax couldn't walk for awhile? Totally forgot that. It must have been one of those 48 hour paralysis problems. Skye is delighted that Jax can move around with a walker. Jax tells her that Brenda married Jason.
Commercials
Limo: So they are done driving around the lake. Sonny laughs that Carly always wants to "drive around the lake" when she wants something. She talks about how crazy in love with him she is. As people are wont to suddenly feel about Sonny or Jax when Brenda comes back to town.
Kelly's: Cornenamel says Brenda is incredibly lucky to have Jason, even if it's only for a little while.
Honeymoon Suite: Jason and Brenda bicker about their rings. She storms off to the bedroom but stops in her tracks when she sees something. She runs back to the living room and says she's sleeping on the couch, and he can have the bed. Jason grumps that he's sleeping on the couch. She yells at him "the bed is shaped like a heart." and nods as if she's obviously proven her point that she's not sleeping in there. He continues to argue, and she says it's all his fault they have a heart shaped bed, so he has to sleep on it. Then she uses this funny falsetto voice and says "la lah lah, I'm Sonny Corinthos' right hand man" heh, I think she's a little out of her mind at this point. He yells at her to shut up and go to bed. They stare at each other, and she' clearly hurt that he just yelled at her with anger instead of frustration, and he clearly wants to apologize, but he's too stubborn. She angrily tosses her ring on the table and storms off to the bedroom. He follows after her to apologize and smell her hair, but then he goes and tosses himself onto the fugly sofa.
Q Manse: Brenda glows that her wedding night was so beautiful. Edward flirts with her a little, and Lila gives her blessings. Brenda goes out to the rose garden to the terrace to get some air. She cries a little for lying to people she loves.
Jax's Room: Skye says she's never leaving Jax's side, no matter what he's battling. She, of course, leaves out the part that Brenda isn't really dying.
Ending Music Montage: Some dude sings maudlinly about jogging someone's memory. Brenda fiddles with her ring. Jason leaves Kelly's, looks at Cornflog, looks at his ring, and leaves angrily. Brenda stares into space. Lame ending montage.
The end
Thanks for reading
Corndog is alive!
lol she looked great so thin and SB looked positively anorexic compared to this SUPER Roid looking body he has now. It was great seeing the Q's but reminded me how bad GH is now.
Thanks to Cubby for the heads up you capped.
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Brenda takes off her mountain man coat. I think she's flirting with me b/c her Brendasleeves are really Brendagloves.
ROLLING Mad I so had tears in my eyes from laughing at all the Cornmom names and digs.
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You gotta miss MalibuDentaBarb with Kung Fu grip.... she gives you so much material. It was fun seeing a young handsome Sonny...and Chicken Carly is always fun...even when bobbing in the back of a limo. Skye looked ravishing...I almost forgot she rocked while Lo rolled with bullets in him. Thanks for the caps!!
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LOL I love all the Corndog nicknames and Jasus looked a zillion times better not roided up!
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I heart u Mad!!! Loved it.
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I second that!!
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