GH 8/11: It's Raining Again...
Italy Perhaps: Two Italian dudes sit around and speak in Italian about some woman who is always running late and will be late to her own funeral. Actually, I don't think she even went to her funeral. Brenda sashays by, but we only see her clever clothes and a glimpse of her hair. Like how in Jaws you only ever saw the hint of a fin for half the movie and them BAM. I imagine most of today will be like that until finally she lunges at Jason, and he gulps "we're gonna need some bigger sleeves"
Corinthaus: Sonny looks out the window, and it's raining, which is only fair since we just cut from Brenda to Sonny. Walsh shows up looking particularly luminous. They kiss, and she asks if this is when they go upstairs and make a baby. He says she doesn't want a baby, and he can see right through her.
Metrocourt: Carly is still running around in that white satin top that has the three dinner napkins stuck to it. Static cling is so unsightly. Carly sis with Looloo.
Oh, so I guess they are just skipping over the episode that would have aired during the president's speech?
Loft: Brooke comes out of the bathroom, 2nd bedroom, hidden bowling alley wing of Dante's formerly one room loft. For some reason she has a red, satin robe on. She thanks him for saving her last night.
Credits
Corinthaus: If I could get past the fact that Sonny is a creepy, old man who kills people for a living, and Walsh is a luminous delight who should be trying to put him in prison, I might enjoy their flirting. They certainly have chemistry. Sonny asks her to admit that she's attracted to him.
Italy: Brenda's Entourage flitters about while we get glimpses of Brenda's dorsal fin.
Docks: Lucky stands in the rain. Presumably wondering why Clair didn't want to have his baby instead of Sonny's. It's what I'm wondering. Maxie happens by and covers him with his umbrella, but he seems to not even notice the downpour.
Metrocourt: Loo says to Carly that Michael is lucky to have Dante as a role model and is away from Sonny's influence. She asks if that makes Carly grateful. Carly lunges across the table and yanks Looloo by the hair. "Grateful? Grateful? You think I'm grateful to the man who sent my son to prison. You think he's normal? He's broken, you idiot. Something is broken inside him." Looloo grabs at Carly's hand, trying to release herself. Carly gets quiet and steely eyed and says Looloo hurt her son, and now it's time for Dante and Looloo to know what it really feels like to suffer.
But, of course, that was just Carly's fantasy, and she remains polite and loving to Looloo while she patiently waits to get Dante back by getting him laid. and to get Looloo back by getting her a mani/pedi, I guess. Something mean like that.
Loft: Brooke and Dante drink beer, and he says someone would be lucky to be with her. She pulls him into a kiss. Dante pulls away and apologizes. He says he meant some other guy would be lucky to be with her. Brooke cries and says it's okay he doesn't feel the same way. Dante says he loves Looloo. She says she's a lightweight to get drunk on one glass of wine, and she shouldn't have come here and told him how she feels. She asks him not to tell Looloo what happened. Michael shows up and asks if he's interrupting. Gee, Mikey, why do you ask? It's a soap opera, it's perfectly normal for people to walk around in negligees.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Carly and Loo gossip about her relationship with Dante. Loo gets all Carrie Bradshaw about it and says "I'm trying to figure out where Loo starts and Dante ends" or something gross like that. Also, speaking of making fun of chick shows with annoying narration, I cannot recommend highly enough that you watch Children's Hospital on Cartoon Network. It's Rob Cordry's 15 minute parody of shows like Grey's Anatomy, and I love it. I'm sure you can find them online, and new shows start August 22nd. Sunday nights 8 or 9pm. Watch! Anysnooze, on this unfunny, unremarkable show, Carly says she knows all about living your life like you are those snakes that eat each other. Carly then muses what if Dante went out of town or undercover and cheated on Looloo. Looloo has trouble chewing her food.
Jake's: Maxie and Lucky have come in out of the rain. Lucky says he found Liz and Nik's baby. She asks where he was, and he says "Oregon." and she says "as in the state?" What other Oregon would there be? Did she think the baby was here ? Lucky says he pretended the baby was his, and for a little bit, he wished it was. Too bad he didn't wish he'd win the lottery!
Olivia shows up to drink and whine about how she's in love with some guy, and something about her son. So over you, Olivia. Be gone!
Lakehouse: Kristina and Alexis gossip about her new werewolf boyfriends, but she insists they are just friends. Alexis was going to leave, but then she remembers that she constantly leaves and that led to her daughter dating a dude who beat her, so she stays. and Xylophone Guy finds this to be hilarious. I sometimes think Xylophone Guy hits the sauce.
Commercials
Jake's: Maxie mumblesmeths, and I have no idea what she says. She sees Shawn Douglas, so she goes over to say hi. Why do people go in and out the back door so often lately? I thought that just led to the bathrooms and the smelly rooms upstairs.
Olivia flails her arms and whines to Coleman. Olivia has a drinking problem.
Corinthaus: Walsh asks sonny to admit that their whole aggravating affair is about compromising her b/c if they sleep together, she can't prosecute him. Sonny says she looks beautiful in that dress (true), and he wants to get to know her as the woman, not as the prosecutor. Yes, because women are really only women when they are being sexy and not being women when they have careers. Walsh asks Sonny if he's ever been in love "I mean, truly loved someone? With everything you had? With your entire heart?"
Gee, wonder where we cut to next.
Ah, Italy. Shocker! Someone comes in and calls Mysterious Petite Brunette "bellissima" Mysterious Petite Brunette fumbles around with stuff on her dressing table, and her hands shake uncontrollably.
Loft: Oh, and Dante and Brook assure Michael that nothing is going on. He asks Michael not to tell Looloo about it. Loo enters on cue. This would be cooler if Michael were in love with Brook or Looloo. Instead, he's just being asked to lie again by someone he wants to respect. Poor Michael. I won't even be mad at him the next time he kills someone.
Commercials
Loft: Dante kisses Loo hello. Loo asks Michael to call him mom b/c she thinks he's at Sonny's. Michael leaves because it totally sucks to be made to feel like a fifth wheel, which is all Looloo and Dante do to him. Loo tells him he doesn't have to leave b/c of her, but it's not like she's willing to live in her dang house for 20 minutes. He leaves, and is clearly pretending not to mine. But those idiots don't care, and happily make out on the couch, even though I think that's where Michael has to sleep.
Lakehouse: Kristina kicks Alexis out into the rain. Kristina and Taylor are studying the War of 1812. Borrrrrrring! Taylor makes a move, and Kristina pulls away. Then they sit around awkwardly.
Jake's: Maxie tells Shawn D that she found Lucky standing in the rain, so she brought him here as a good deed. Shawn says they can reschedule their date.
Maxie sits with Lucky, and he says he was just leaving. She says he an't go stand back in the rain, so he has to drink his coffee. Maxie says that Mac and Robert are brothers, but look how much Mac loves Robin, or how much he loves her for that matter. If Lucky loves the baby, then don't put limits on how he feels just be happy about feeling that way. Lucky says sometimes she is very wise. She shrugs and says at least she has enough sense to come out of the rain.
Corinthaus: Walsh asks if Sonny loves Carly or Brenda more. Oh girl, don't even open that can of worms. (also, it's Brenda, duh.) I can't get over how gorgeous Walsh is today. Sonny says he loves Carly b/c she's the mother of his children. He then says he's honored she took time out of her career to be attracted to him, and he wants to see where they can take this, and she just has to forget about trying to bust him. She smiles.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Kristina apologizes for being weird and insane. That is a pretty bad combo. Taylor says she's just going through stuff and won't let her call herself a freak. He thinks she's amazing. Then he says amazing 28 times and then apologizes for using that word. He's sorry he moved too soon. She asks him not to take it personally. He wants to stay study partners b/c she's really smart. Even though they only studied for 4 minutes, he decides to go.
Corinthaus: Sonny says that she can bring down Johnny for killing The Lopez Danger, and she adds "while sleeping with you" He nods straight faced and says she'll get the best of both worlds. Heh. He says he can help out by slipping her some...erm..information. Walsh leans in as if it's confidential that sleeping with the man she wants to send to prison will ruin her career. Sonny says that she should focus on catching someone she can catch, and that someone isn't he. She says she should walk away. He says that would hurt his feelings. She apologizes sarcastically. He says he wants to get to know her. Walsh asks "what woman in her right mind wouldn't want to throw everything away just to be with you?"
ding ding ding! Mysterious Petite Brunette shuffles down the hall with her entourage.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Michael visits Kristina. She tells him how she freaked out on her study partner. She hardly freaked out. He hardly tried to kiss her, for that matter. He moved gently in her general direction, and she politely scooted away. Ah, 17, everything is The Drama. Kristina says Taylor is nice and cute. Michael asks if she misses Kiefer. She says she's not the person she used to be, she's a little scared all the time. Taylor will eventually find out the truth, that she's damaged. Michael chews on his damaged lip.
Metrocourt: Brook tells Carly how she took a shower at Dante's, and they had wine, and she kissed him. Brook says Dante pulled away and says he loves Loo. She asks what she can do. She told him she was embarrassed, and she actually is embarrassed. She says Michael came home. Carly says she doesn't want Michael involved in this. Brook angrily says that Michael lives there, so there's no way to avoid that. Brook says she looked ridiculous. Carly sternly says Brook is fine, then she smiles mischievously and says Dante is more like his father than she thought.
Corinthaus: Sonny pours some wine. He tells her to put the baby idea out of her head. She says there's no deal. "As tempting as you are, I won't be with you." She looks at his lips as she says it. They kiss loudly, and she leaves. She smiles wryly at the front door before leaving. Sonny stares out into the thing he always leaves Brenda in.
Italy: Backstage somewhere. Mysterious Petite Brunette is surrounded by her entourage. A mean man shows up with a tiny knife. He lunges at MPB, but her goons easily subdue him. What a shitty assassination attempt. In Italian a man announces "here to give the huminitarian award, the good will ambassador for the A.S.E.C (African Stories for Every Chil? All She Eats (are mint) Cookies? America Stiletto Enthusiasts Club?) is Brenda Barrett. The Mysterious Petite Brunette steps out into the light and makes a ridiculous number of pouty sex mouth faces.
and with that, it starts to downpour here in Austin....so I guess Texas is saying "welcome back, Brenda!"
the end
Thanks for reading. Don't forget to giggle every 15 seconds!
Corinthaus: Sonny looks out the window, and it's raining, which is only fair since we just cut from Brenda to Sonny. Walsh shows up looking particularly luminous. They kiss, and she asks if this is when they go upstairs and make a baby. He says she doesn't want a baby, and he can see right through her.
Metrocourt: Carly is still running around in that white satin top that has the three dinner napkins stuck to it. Static cling is so unsightly. Carly sis with Looloo.
Oh, so I guess they are just skipping over the episode that would have aired during the president's speech?
Loft: Brooke comes out of the bathroom, 2nd bedroom, hidden bowling alley wing of Dante's formerly one room loft. For some reason she has a red, satin robe on. She thanks him for saving her last night.
Credits
Corinthaus: If I could get past the fact that Sonny is a creepy, old man who kills people for a living, and Walsh is a luminous delight who should be trying to put him in prison, I might enjoy their flirting. They certainly have chemistry. Sonny asks her to admit that she's attracted to him.
Italy: Brenda's Entourage flitters about while we get glimpses of Brenda's dorsal fin.
Docks: Lucky stands in the rain. Presumably wondering why Clair didn't want to have his baby instead of Sonny's. It's what I'm wondering. Maxie happens by and covers him with his umbrella, but he seems to not even notice the downpour.
Metrocourt: Loo says to Carly that Michael is lucky to have Dante as a role model and is away from Sonny's influence. She asks if that makes Carly grateful. Carly lunges across the table and yanks Looloo by the hair. "Grateful? Grateful? You think I'm grateful to the man who sent my son to prison. You think he's normal? He's broken, you idiot. Something is broken inside him." Looloo grabs at Carly's hand, trying to release herself. Carly gets quiet and steely eyed and says Looloo hurt her son, and now it's time for Dante and Looloo to know what it really feels like to suffer.
But, of course, that was just Carly's fantasy, and she remains polite and loving to Looloo while she patiently waits to get Dante back by getting him laid. and to get Looloo back by getting her a mani/pedi, I guess. Something mean like that.
Loft: Brooke and Dante drink beer, and he says someone would be lucky to be with her. She pulls him into a kiss. Dante pulls away and apologizes. He says he meant some other guy would be lucky to be with her. Brooke cries and says it's okay he doesn't feel the same way. Dante says he loves Looloo. She says she's a lightweight to get drunk on one glass of wine, and she shouldn't have come here and told him how she feels. She asks him not to tell Looloo what happened. Michael shows up and asks if he's interrupting. Gee, Mikey, why do you ask? It's a soap opera, it's perfectly normal for people to walk around in negligees.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Carly and Loo gossip about her relationship with Dante. Loo gets all Carrie Bradshaw about it and says "I'm trying to figure out where Loo starts and Dante ends" or something gross like that. Also, speaking of making fun of chick shows with annoying narration, I cannot recommend highly enough that you watch Children's Hospital on Cartoon Network. It's Rob Cordry's 15 minute parody of shows like Grey's Anatomy, and I love it. I'm sure you can find them online, and new shows start August 22nd. Sunday nights 8 or 9pm. Watch! Anysnooze, on this unfunny, unremarkable show, Carly says she knows all about living your life like you are those snakes that eat each other. Carly then muses what if Dante went out of town or undercover and cheated on Looloo. Looloo has trouble chewing her food.
Jake's: Maxie and Lucky have come in out of the rain. Lucky says he found Liz and Nik's baby. She asks where he was, and he says "Oregon." and she says "as in the state?" What other Oregon would there be? Did she think the baby was here ? Lucky says he pretended the baby was his, and for a little bit, he wished it was. Too bad he didn't wish he'd win the lottery!
Olivia shows up to drink and whine about how she's in love with some guy, and something about her son. So over you, Olivia. Be gone!
Lakehouse: Kristina and Alexis gossip about her new werewolf boyfriends, but she insists they are just friends. Alexis was going to leave, but then she remembers that she constantly leaves and that led to her daughter dating a dude who beat her, so she stays. and Xylophone Guy finds this to be hilarious. I sometimes think Xylophone Guy hits the sauce.
Commercials
Jake's: Maxie mumblesmeths, and I have no idea what she says. She sees Shawn Douglas, so she goes over to say hi. Why do people go in and out the back door so often lately? I thought that just led to the bathrooms and the smelly rooms upstairs.
Olivia flails her arms and whines to Coleman. Olivia has a drinking problem.
Corinthaus: Walsh asks sonny to admit that their whole aggravating affair is about compromising her b/c if they sleep together, she can't prosecute him. Sonny says she looks beautiful in that dress (true), and he wants to get to know her as the woman, not as the prosecutor. Yes, because women are really only women when they are being sexy and not being women when they have careers. Walsh asks Sonny if he's ever been in love "I mean, truly loved someone? With everything you had? With your entire heart?"
Gee, wonder where we cut to next.
Ah, Italy. Shocker! Someone comes in and calls Mysterious Petite Brunette "bellissima" Mysterious Petite Brunette fumbles around with stuff on her dressing table, and her hands shake uncontrollably.
Loft: Oh, and Dante and Brook assure Michael that nothing is going on. He asks Michael not to tell Looloo about it. Loo enters on cue. This would be cooler if Michael were in love with Brook or Looloo. Instead, he's just being asked to lie again by someone he wants to respect. Poor Michael. I won't even be mad at him the next time he kills someone.
Commercials
Loft: Dante kisses Loo hello. Loo asks Michael to call him mom b/c she thinks he's at Sonny's. Michael leaves because it totally sucks to be made to feel like a fifth wheel, which is all Looloo and Dante do to him. Loo tells him he doesn't have to leave b/c of her, but it's not like she's willing to live in her dang house for 20 minutes. He leaves, and is clearly pretending not to mine. But those idiots don't care, and happily make out on the couch, even though I think that's where Michael has to sleep.
Lakehouse: Kristina kicks Alexis out into the rain. Kristina and Taylor are studying the War of 1812. Borrrrrrring! Taylor makes a move, and Kristina pulls away. Then they sit around awkwardly.
Jake's: Maxie tells Shawn D that she found Lucky standing in the rain, so she brought him here as a good deed. Shawn says they can reschedule their date.
Maxie sits with Lucky, and he says he was just leaving. She says he an't go stand back in the rain, so he has to drink his coffee. Maxie says that Mac and Robert are brothers, but look how much Mac loves Robin, or how much he loves her for that matter. If Lucky loves the baby, then don't put limits on how he feels just be happy about feeling that way. Lucky says sometimes she is very wise. She shrugs and says at least she has enough sense to come out of the rain.
Corinthaus: Walsh asks if Sonny loves Carly or Brenda more. Oh girl, don't even open that can of worms. (also, it's Brenda, duh.) I can't get over how gorgeous Walsh is today. Sonny says he loves Carly b/c she's the mother of his children. He then says he's honored she took time out of her career to be attracted to him, and he wants to see where they can take this, and she just has to forget about trying to bust him. She smiles.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Kristina apologizes for being weird and insane. That is a pretty bad combo. Taylor says she's just going through stuff and won't let her call herself a freak. He thinks she's amazing. Then he says amazing 28 times and then apologizes for using that word. He's sorry he moved too soon. She asks him not to take it personally. He wants to stay study partners b/c she's really smart. Even though they only studied for 4 minutes, he decides to go.
Corinthaus: Sonny says that she can bring down Johnny for killing The Lopez Danger, and she adds "while sleeping with you" He nods straight faced and says she'll get the best of both worlds. Heh. He says he can help out by slipping her some...erm..information. Walsh leans in as if it's confidential that sleeping with the man she wants to send to prison will ruin her career. Sonny says that she should focus on catching someone she can catch, and that someone isn't he. She says she should walk away. He says that would hurt his feelings. She apologizes sarcastically. He says he wants to get to know her. Walsh asks "what woman in her right mind wouldn't want to throw everything away just to be with you?"
ding ding ding! Mysterious Petite Brunette shuffles down the hall with her entourage.
Commercials
Lakehouse: Michael visits Kristina. She tells him how she freaked out on her study partner. She hardly freaked out. He hardly tried to kiss her, for that matter. He moved gently in her general direction, and she politely scooted away. Ah, 17, everything is The Drama. Kristina says Taylor is nice and cute. Michael asks if she misses Kiefer. She says she's not the person she used to be, she's a little scared all the time. Taylor will eventually find out the truth, that she's damaged. Michael chews on his damaged lip.
Metrocourt: Brook tells Carly how she took a shower at Dante's, and they had wine, and she kissed him. Brook says Dante pulled away and says he loves Loo. She asks what she can do. She told him she was embarrassed, and she actually is embarrassed. She says Michael came home. Carly says she doesn't want Michael involved in this. Brook angrily says that Michael lives there, so there's no way to avoid that. Brook says she looked ridiculous. Carly sternly says Brook is fine, then she smiles mischievously and says Dante is more like his father than she thought.
Corinthaus: Sonny pours some wine. He tells her to put the baby idea out of her head. She says there's no deal. "As tempting as you are, I won't be with you." She looks at his lips as she says it. They kiss loudly, and she leaves. She smiles wryly at the front door before leaving. Sonny stares out into the thing he always leaves Brenda in.
Italy: Backstage somewhere. Mysterious Petite Brunette is surrounded by her entourage. A mean man shows up with a tiny knife. He lunges at MPB, but her goons easily subdue him. What a shitty assassination attempt. In Italian a man announces "here to give the huminitarian award, the good will ambassador for the A.S.E.C (African Stories for Every Chil? All She Eats (are mint) Cookies? America Stiletto Enthusiasts Club?) is Brenda Barrett. The Mysterious Petite Brunette steps out into the light and makes a ridiculous number of pouty sex mouth faces.
and with that, it starts to downpour here in Austin....so I guess Texas is saying "welcome back, Brenda!"
the end
Thanks for reading. Don't forget to giggle every 15 seconds!
I imagine most of today will be like that until finally she lunges and Jason, and he gulps "we're gonna need some bigger sleeves"
lmbo at bigger sleeves and LOVE the title. Thanks Mad
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LMAO - AWESOME opening paragraph!!! I won't quote the whole thing, but you continue to rock.
Yesterday's Brenda marathon was fantastic. God, this show used to be so good!!!!!
And it was very exciting to see your old material, lol.
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Italy: Brenda's Entourage flitters about while we get glimpses of Brenda's dorsal fin.
ROFLMAO and ITA about Walsh she does have chemistry w/Mo but who can support it with what a slug he has become.
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"Lucky stands in the rain. Presumably wondering why Claire didn't want to have his baby instead of Sonny's. It's what I'm wondering."
It's what I'm wondering too. Ugh, I can't believe she's kissing Sonny and wants his vile moobster sperm! UGH UGH UGH!
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Poor Michael. I won't even be mad at him the next time he kills someone.
bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah your in mid season form already Mad.
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Lakehouse: Kristina and Alexis gossip about her new werewolf boyfriends
I totally remember when John J York was on that werewolf TV series! He was so hot back then. Although, Mac is still hot, just older.
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Thank you Mad for coming back! Missed you. I was starting to think: even the GREAT Mad doesn't want to recap what this show has become!
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She asks where he was, and he says "Oregon." and she says "as in the state?" What other Oregon would there be?
I think Maxie thought that the baby was stuffed into an organ, you know cause maybe it was a tree alternative
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"Too bad he didn't wish he'd win the lottery!"
Spit-out-my-chai LOL.
Pretty funny equating Brender w/Jaws. Hoping she sticks around longer and doesn't meet the same fate though. She can be quite luminous too and cruel hope is forcing me to envision a long beautifully well-written road to her leading Sonny back to semi-decency.
"America Stiletto Enthusiasts Club"
Yep, that's the one. Haha!
Missed you!!!
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