GH 1/18: Kate Wines
Sam naps in the middle of the day and has nightmares about Franco.
Siri tells Spinelli that Franco's warehouse burned down, and a body was found in the rubble.
Maxie and Liz fight over a Matt. Maxie by showing "Woman Behind the Man" photos and gushing about how much chemistry they have. Liz by having a copy of the medical journal that published Matt's study.
Carly overhears that Sean is leaving town, and she pouts accordingly. Alexis and Milly are there too, as is TJ, which I assume is short for Teen Jerk.
Commercials
All Tucked Inn Bar (tm HTCH): Kate rushes to the bar and pounds wine. She whines that she can't be a mobster's girlfriend and watch him die. He tortellis (tm Scalding).
Offices of Boobs and McDweeb: Jason leaves, and Ethan shows up, wanting info on Cassadrip.
Nurse's Station: Maxie says idiotic things that the medical journal isn't even printed on glossy paper. Matt and Liz roll their eyes and say it's a journal, not a magazine. Maxie thinks the Crimson article will mean more than this boring cancer thing. Liz dares her to say one non-stupid thing about Matt's research.
Kelly's: Carly is all "hi, I'm basically your step mom." Milly is happy to already have a friend at PC High (she's eschewing Madison b/c her family members are serial killers, making it awkward to go to the same school as them.) Alexis, Milly and TJ leave so that Carly can whine to Sean about leaving.
Commercials
All Blown Inn Bar: Kate sips wine, and Sonny sits and says dopey things about how people get hurt all the time. Kate is annoyed, hurt, confused, and guilty. Sonny just nods patronizing. That patronizing crap is why I don't see how anyone dates Sonny. She's not equipped for this. She seems quite certain, yet I feel equally certain she's going to spend the hour whining about it, and then sleep with him.
Olivia's Chocolate Apartment: We were thankfully spared watching Olivia and Steve do it. She wants to talk, but he's paged. She suggests he leave some cloths here. Also, she's wearing what appears to be a leotard with ribbons that hold up the bust. or maybe it's some aging lady negligee?
Kelly's: Milly and TJ sip sodas and eat fries while Carly whines to Sean. Ewan pops out of nowhere to speak to Alexis. So that we are forced to endure more boring Carly and Sean wrap up.
Ewan wants to speak to Alexis b/c she's in charge of Wyndermere. He wants to rent it.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason comes home, and Sam tells him she had a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. He holds her for a moment. She sits up and says they've got to talk about This and what to do with the baby. He looks like he'd rather wax Sonny's taint.
commercials
Siri tells Spinelli that Franco's warehouse burned down, and a body was found in the rubble.
Maxie and Liz fight over a Matt. Maxie by showing "Woman Behind the Man" photos and gushing about how much chemistry they have. Liz by having a copy of the medical journal that published Matt's study.
Carly overhears that Sean is leaving town, and she pouts accordingly. Alexis and Milly are there too, as is TJ, which I assume is short for Teen Jerk.
Commercials
All Tucked Inn Bar (tm HTCH): Kate rushes to the bar and pounds wine. She whines that she can't be a mobster's girlfriend and watch him die. He tortellis (tm Scalding).
Offices of Boobs and McDweeb: Jason leaves, and Ethan shows up, wanting info on Cassadrip.
Nurse's Station: Maxie says idiotic things that the medical journal isn't even printed on glossy paper. Matt and Liz roll their eyes and say it's a journal, not a magazine. Maxie thinks the Crimson article will mean more than this boring cancer thing. Liz dares her to say one non-stupid thing about Matt's research.
Kelly's: Carly is all "hi, I'm basically your step mom." Milly is happy to already have a friend at PC High (she's eschewing Madison b/c her family members are serial killers, making it awkward to go to the same school as them.) Alexis, Milly and TJ leave so that Carly can whine to Sean about leaving.
Commercials
All Blown Inn Bar: Kate sips wine, and Sonny sits and says dopey things about how people get hurt all the time. Kate is annoyed, hurt, confused, and guilty. Sonny just nods patronizing. That patronizing crap is why I don't see how anyone dates Sonny. She's not equipped for this. She seems quite certain, yet I feel equally certain she's going to spend the hour whining about it, and then sleep with him.
Olivia's Chocolate Apartment: We were thankfully spared watching Olivia and Steve do it. She wants to talk, but he's paged. She suggests he leave some cloths here. Also, she's wearing what appears to be a leotard with ribbons that hold up the bust. or maybe it's some aging lady negligee?
Kelly's: Milly and TJ sip sodas and eat fries while Carly whines to Sean. Ewan pops out of nowhere to speak to Alexis. So that we are forced to endure more boring Carly and Sean wrap up.
Ewan wants to speak to Alexis b/c she's in charge of Wyndermere. He wants to rent it.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason comes home, and Sam tells him she had a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. He holds her for a moment. She sits up and says they've got to talk about This and what to do with the baby. He looks like he'd rather wax Sonny's taint.
commercials
Nurse's Station: Maxie likens cancer to an annoying girl at a frat party that stalks him, moves in with him, and eats all his foods. Piph breezes by and helps Maxie with some medical jargon. Maxie mentions Fedora Guy. Liz thinks Maxie is pulling a liez.
Olivia and Steven show up and Memphis glowers at them. She's the one who paged Steve. Olivia is not amused.
All Tucked Inn Bar: Sonny agrees to call her the next time he's shot. Kate says he says that now, but he'll always diminish all risk and danger and threat b/c he just wants what he wants. Gee, you mean he'll lie to even you to get what he wants? Sonny tries to be charming, but she shuts him down. She cares about him and loves being with him, but she's allegedly a magazine editor. She can't make him the center of her life. Sonny says he's not asking her to. much.
Kelly's: Sean and Carly gossip about TJ. Meanwhile, Milly says Sean is great and helped her once. TJ is obnoxious and asks if she didn't make the cheerleading squad. Milly gorgeously shuts him down by smiling politely, while frowning with hurt eyes and asks simply "really?" I like that she doesn't get all huffy and say she was coping with a tragic accident that left her family seriously injured and killed a family friend. Her polite disappointment, and TJ is duly chastened. He even makes a sad puppy dog face. Milly changes the subject and says Sean was really hurting. TJ reasonably doesn't care that much about Sean's pain. Neither do I, TJ! At least we have that much in common!
Ethan and Spinelli boring chat about Cassadrone.
Jason and Sam talk about the baby. She regrets having the utero-shoulder surgery. She wonders how she could love that child. Jason asks if she wants to end the pregnancy.
Commercials
Nurse's Station: Maxie berates Matt for letting Liz mock her. Maxie says she's sorry she can't speak medical jargon. Matt says she can't pronounce them b/c she doesn't care. Then Fedora Guy saunters by, and Matt doesn't see him. Matt wonders why a Fedora Guy would stalk her. She starts meth-speaking in riddles about her involvement with Anthony.
Memphis has a patient who was badly burned. Olivia feels like a jerk for begrudging a little girl's health, but she starts counting out loud again. She also thinks Memphis is using the little girl to get close to Steve.
Kelly's: Sean and Carly gossip about TJ.
All Blown Inn Bar: Kate and Sonny blah blah blah. He charms some tears out of her. Then they talk about their stupid childhood love. She points out that he's lived most of his life without her. He lies that he's been pining for her all this time. He wants to find a place in the middle of not dating and dating. She asks for some time. He mutters and flirts and leaves.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam she doesn't want Franco's baby, but she doesn't know what to do. She says she can feel her body changing. Jason tells her to quit thinking about Franco because it might be his. Their song starts playing, and she cries that she knows that, but she doesn't feel that right now. She just feels hate, bitterness, and anger inside of her, and she knows she's putting this on the child. Jason says he doesn't believe that. She cries that the baby might look like Franco. She could end it all right now, but what if it's his baby. He says he'd be the happiest guy in the world. She cries she can't live this way. He softly says he loves her, and whatever she does, he wants to be with her. She wipes her face on her hands, and he strokes her hair.
Commercials
Again, my stupid internet died, so I'm guessing what I wrote.
Matt thanks Liz for caring about his work. She kindly says that Maxie has a lot of interests.
Maxie asks Spinelli to move in.
That song that plays a lot starts playing. It's the one that sounds like hipster Peanuts humming while a piano plays.
Alexis thinks Ewan is weird and thus a perfect match for Wyndermere.
TJ asks Milly what her story is, and she laughs that she's a kid who likes to read. He vows not to go to school.
Carly mentions that Bobbie is in Seattle, and she hires Sean to run Kelly's.
Sam learns from Dr. Bad News Jr that she can get a paternity test. Jason holds her while she cries.


Way too much Sonny and Kate.
Why do the writers hate Maxie?
Carly and Sean.....more, do they think anyone cares?
When is the show going to be watchable?
Thanks for making this garbage fun!
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"He looks like he'd rather wax Sonny's taint."
OMG I just spit diet Pepsi everywhere!
Your awesome wicked humor is delightful!
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